What the hey have I been doing

Hello everyone! Oops on the updating again. So here comes the past month in one entry..

So we wrapped up themo! We had an 80s themo that my dad nailed. It was fun to have hair again and it was great to see the receptionists at the hospital with teased hair and tons of eyeshadow. I loved seeing hospital staff decked out in themo wear every Thursday. Evanston hospital is as supportive and loving as it gets!

The next theme was Prom Night. All of my fellow teachers were dressed to impress and my dad went all out to get us a stretch limo so we could arrive in style. I had planned on one of my friends being my prom date but once again Evanston Hospital and the hockey gods had bigger plans for me. For the second time this year, I ran into Lord Stanley!! So for prom night I got Lord Stanley in bed with me. And you know what.. my dad was totally fine with it!! The whole day felt like a dream.. from my incredible dress to my date. Themo started out as a little idea  so I wouldn't hate treatment and has expanded beyond anything I could ever imagine.

For my very last treatment we had to go all out. How could I possibly do that after Prom? I couldn't.. But my friends could!! I had my Anna fly in from Conneticut, my sister and brother-in-law come, BOTH parents, Aunt Jeanie, Sam, Sam, Christina, Suzanna, Joe, Honey, Patrick, Aunt Jen.... I could go on and on but you get it. Everyone who has been smothering me with love for the past few months was by my side for my final treatment. We sort of went over the 4 people in a room at a time rule.

My final theme was "My favorite things" so everyone was decked out in Hawks apparel. When I say everyone I mean EVERYONE. My entire school was head to toe(ws) in red. During a math lesson TommyHawk busted into my classroom and it was a party from then on!! Reporters came to capture the event, WGN filmed it, and the Blackhawks showed their love again! I was paraded out and escorted to the hospital by the entire school. Upon arriving we had the pleasure of passing out thank you presents to all the wonderful staff at EH and goodie bags to patients having treatment at the same time as me. It was really important to me to make sure I said thank you to everyone and also encouraged those around me. I truly could not have gone through this experience without the Evanston Hospital community and all my friends and family. Not only did I get through chemo but I did it with a smile on my face and I have all of you to thank for that. It wasn't just a struggle, it was a fight for my life!! Getting my through this means more than you will ever know!! A "thank you" cannot begin to cover how I feel towards all of you.

You can see the joy I felt in these pictures. I have never been one to hide my emotions, my face shows it all. I have been the happiest, luckiest girl through these experiences. It's been hard but it's been fun! And days like these have made it all worth it. It's a special experience getting to see how much people love you. Most never know that till they're gone. But I haven't had a single day go by without at least one person letting me know how much I love them. I wouldn't trade  every awful, sick day, every mental breakdown day, every "how the heck am I going to do this?" moment for anything in the world because of the love I have received. The farther down I fell, the higher I was lifted up. It's a powerful thing knowing you're never alone.

After chemo finished I made my way out to California for some much needed sunshine and ocean air. Newport Beach will always be the place where my heart finds great happiness. It was so nice to feel like Kayla again. I thought everything would be smooth sailing once chemo was over and it has sort of been the opposite. My body aches in ways that it never did during my worst 200m fly even. I have gone to such dark places in my head, something I never thought I was capable of. California helped me crawl out of the storm. Making rest a priority too has been huge. I have finally given up teaching every day, something that was hard to do but much needed. I can't keep rolling along like I was before. It really caught up to me and it's time that I gave into the tired so I can come out of it. I've had some pretty lazy days recently. Lots of prison shows and 90s movies. One day I only got out of bed to use the bathroom. This routine is one that I'm usually not ok with but I'm learning to be. Mostly because of how much better I feel doing it. My body needs time to recover and so does my mind. My head is very, very tired. So that's my main agenda now. Resting up and getting strong for surgery.

Among the rest I have been trying to spoil myself with relaxing activities along with fun ones! Over the weekend of the best friends anyone could ever wish for got married. Andrea and Wyatt tied the knot on Saturday. You would have though she had been married a hundred times before when you consider how perfect the wedding was. The DJ played great music, the ceremony was one I keep replaying in my head-perfect, and the bride was stunning. I have literally never laid eyes on anything so beautiful. The dress.. the hair... the lady.. wow. That will be a hard one to top. It was great to see old friends and teammates and to feel like a normal 25 year old for the night. Big shout out to the best date ever too(sorry Sam)!! I would wish that I could replay last weekend again and again but I definitely don't have the energy for it haha. I have had a few days in bed to follow that fun to recover. The only negative from it was my neuropathy paired with wearing heels for hours have sort of destroyed my feet. I am without much feeling in the fronts of them and I have a couple toes with nothing happening. Walking has become very... interesting. But even this has a positive.. prescribed foot massages :) Things are never all bad!

So what now.. My surgery is at 7:30 on the morning of November 15th. I'll be in the hospital till the following Monday probably and then to my parents house to recover for at least 4 weeks. If you're interested in stopping by the hospital or their house, let me know! I would really appreciate visitors to both, sitting around for a month sounds boring! Please feel free to suggest books/movies/tv shows.. anything to pass the time. I sucked netflix dry of all things related to prison so I need entertainment. Breaking Bad is definitely already on this list. Until then I plan on squeaking in another trip to see the ocean, catch a concert or two, have a farewell party for my girls, and just enjoy being active while I still can. Lots of snoozing between all of this fun of course!!

Expect another update soon! Hope you all are doing well and staying warm!!

ps. I can now apply fake eyelashes to myself!! WOO! This is a huge accomplishment when you consider I just learned about eyeliner a couple  months ago :)