love wins!

All I wanna do is jump to present day in my journey but I'm gonna try to resist and start where I left off last.
So I survived my double mastectomy and the removal of 20 of my lymph nodes. I went into surgery Friday morning and came out fine and dandy. In the recovery room I was greeted by my father first. Apparently upon seeing him I started crying. First, I cried because I thought I didn't have boobs anymore. Once he reassured me I did, the tears started again. This time it was out of fear that my mom was going to make me start working out again now that I was out of the OR. Again, Daddo calmed me down. From then on I was just thankful to see him and see my mom once she came in and was so happy to be alive. Friday evening I was greeted by lots of friends and family, none of which I remember. I cried and reached for the hand of whoever walked into the room and was overcome with happiness. I couldn't tell everyone I loved them enough. Again, I remember  none of this. So I'm pretty happy to hear that when I am drugged out of my mind, all I wanted to do is tell everyone how thankful I am for them and how much I love them. I've heard WAY different stories from others post anesthesia.
Saturday morning my doctor noticed a hematoma in my right breast and I was brought back into surgery. What was supposed to be just a quick 30 minute procedure turned into a 2 hour ordeal of my doctor searching for where I was bleeding from. The spot was found, the bleeding stopped, and I once again in the recovery room sobbing away telling everyone how much I loved them. I am so thankful to be alive no matter what my state of mind!
The rest of my time in the hospital was spent constantly pressing my pain pump, having tons of people filtering in and out of my room, and saying ridiculous to anyone who'd listen. I was convinced that "Jess from New Girl" was my nurse and got really defensive with my guests when they tried to tell me my friend Kyle wasn't another one of my nurses. I insisted that he was my nurse and he did an outstanding job and deserved a huge thank you present. I also questioned everyone around about who had brought the movie "Baby Geniuses" for me (nobody). There were numerous times that I confessed my love for my catheter and wished to keep it in forever. Drugs are weird..
So for someone who was so worried about having to stay in the hospital, I remember none of it. Wasn't traumatic at all!
Monday night I was out of the hospital and home at my parents house. My sister drove us all from the hospital to Lockport. The drive was painful. My lovely father had a hospital bed set up for me in my basement cave and I enjoyed my last night with Brittany. Brittany is my best friend who was in town for my surgery from NYC. She took care of my parents for me and ate a ton of candy. Apparently it was actually pretty disgusting what my mom and Brit put away during the long weekend. It's amazing neither of them have cavities. I'm mostly just sad to not partake in the treat feast.
Since I've been home I've been watching a little tv, welcoming guests (LOVE VISITORS, THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT HERE), farting around the internet, and taking naps. I am up to two laps around the culdesac now and even did a little stair work out (walked up them 5 times, count it!). Online Christmas shopping has helped me kill time and I definitely have an appetite again. Kayla is coming back!
Today I received the best news of all. We trekked up to Evanston for my first post op appointment where I was told that I AM 100% CANCER FREE!!! All my labs came back clear, no more tumors remaining in any of the tissue they removed. I DON'T HAVE CANCER ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I could raise my arms I'd throw them up and wave them around while I happy dance!! NO MORE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!
So what does that mean? It means the treatment plan worked. The best possible outcome happened. I received the best care possible through the best plan possible from the best team possible. My treatment plan will continue..as planned. I'll start radiation in the new year and then hormone therapy after that. Basically, everything is going exactly as they hoped!!!
YOU GUYS WE DID IT!!!! WE BEAT CANCER!!!!!!
I couldn't have done it without you guys. WE DID IT!!!!
I am beside myself. I don't know what to do. I am overwhelmed with happiness and relief and joy. I am so blessed and thankful. I could have eaten 12 celebratory weiners today instead of the half of one I had. YOU GUYS!!! WOOO!!!! WE DID IT!!!
It has been a long, exhausted, amazing, crazy 7 months. But it's all been worth it. Every awful moment had a purpose. Every bit of help you gave was worth it. It was all worth it.
Isn't it amazing what love can do?
LOVE CONQUERS ALL

Last night in the hospital

I'm making the transition from the pain pump to pain pills, prepping to go home tomorrow. My friend Christina stayed over night with me Saturday, and I'll have another buddy with me tonight. Sleeping through the night has been much easier with the help of some Ambien, but the pain still makes an appearance in the mornings.

The nurses are all so impressed with the pictures, posters, flowers, balloons and gifts that decorate the room. Thank you so much to everyone that stopped by to wish me well. I couldn't have itched my face or put my slippers on without you.

-Interim Kayla

Pre-op Part II

Looking much better this morning and was able to get up and walk around a bit. Though I had much more work done on my left side, my right was bothering me a lot since yesterday. This morning my doctor suggested we go back into surgery to take care of a hematoma that developed on the right side. It should be a quick, 30-minute surgery that I'll be going in for at 3:30. I'll have another post-op post later this afternoon!

-  Kayla 2.0

POST OP!

I'm out of surgery and all I want to do is tell everyone how much I love them (and ask what time it is...repeatedly). I was curious what I would do in my loopy state after graduating from the recovery room, but thankfully it hasn't been anything embarrassing yet. (Much to the dismay of Brittany, who can't stop bragging about the Chicago hot dog she had for lunch.)

There are posters from all my kids and friends hung in my room and I've got my Hawks blanket keeping me warm.  (A little too warm, after all the body heat being generated from the friends and family who hung out at Evanston Hospital for the day.)  The doctors are very happy with how smoothly the surgery went, though I can definitely feel the pain in my left side. It looks as if I'll be camped out at Evanston Hospital until Monday, and though I might be in and out of sleep, I'll always welcome anyone who'd like to visit.  The hospital number to call is 847-570-2350 and my patient number to reference is 5752. Also feel free to get in touch with my parents or Brittany (732-299-7751) for updates and information.

Love,

Interim Kayla

Alright, that was my best Kayla impression for the moment. Since you've all been getting her perspective the past couple of months, I want to share how the day went from people who were actually conscious for it. Last night a bunch of us spent the night in a hotel with Kayla and helped her eat way too much junk food for her last meal before surgery. There were some heroic efforts on plates of whipped cream, and a family-sized bag of chips was hardly enough to feed our family.

An early-morning wakeup call roused us all from the beds we cuddled in, and we made our way to the hospital decked out in Hawks gear. We were the largest group there on a Friday morning and had to take turns rotating in Kayla's room. Sam Ciochon brought lots of laughs to wake our groggy eyes, and more visitors trickled in to give their love before Kayla went under.

We took over plenty of chairs in the waiting room with all of our belongings, while others from the community would stop by to drop off care packages of food for us (as if we needed any more). For some of us it was time to catch up, and others time to get to know each other. The hours went quickly and both doctors came back with smiles on their faces, bearing great news that surgery went as smoothly as possible. 

Back in the recovery room Kayla couldn't stop telling everyone how much love she had for us, and was so delighted at the simplest thing - us being around.  (No matter how annoying we may have all been with our loud cell phone conversations and interruptions while the doctors tried to help her.) It may have just been the drugs speaking, but we'll take the compliments without complaint.

I have no doubts everyone will keep up the passion and excitement for supporting Kayla through her recovery. The quality of people in Kayla's life is miraculous and she is so deserving - and I know she is grateful - to have them around and receive all their love. Thanks for keeping my best friend happy and cool during such a difficult time in her life. 

Love,

Brittany (and Debbie)

Pre op!

Howdy! You won't hear much from me for awhile so I wanted to keep you up on a few things. You can always check my blog for updates, I'll have some guest writers on there. Also I'll have updates posted to Facebook from friends so keep an eye out for those. You can contact my parents tomredig@sbcglobal.net for more news too. Feel free to blow up my phone and fb with fun love to return to.
My surgery is at 7am Friday at Evanston Hospital. Should be under 6 hours. I'm hoping to be out by Monday. I would love visitors, but sorry if I'm passed out or not a lot of fun if you do swing by! We'll have a place to leave notes and the Polaroid cam up and running again :)
Once I'm out of the hospital I'll be staying with my parents in Lockport while I recover. Again, come on by! We'd love to have you. It's far but don't leave me lonely, please :) Address to come..
Everyone has been asking about my plastic surgery and what cup size I'm going with. You should all know by know that the only cup size for me is Stanley!!!
So Friday rep some hawks wear! We'll be heading into the OR in ours! (is that allowed?)
One goal, people! One goal.

Much love!

Well I have been enjoying myself and then some in this last week before surgery. I had a WHOLE week without any doctors appointments. 7 DAYS WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT… amazing. You all know how much I adore Evanston Hospital but still, it was nice to forget about that part of my life for a little bit. I went down to Ft Lauderdale for a few days and enjoyed the sunshine and ocean. I spent hours lounging in the pool and laughing my face off with Lisa and Wendy. I came home with darker skin and lighter hair so I was quite happy. The only little bump in my favorite vacation to date was getting called "sir" at Panera. Womp womp… But seriously, delicious margs, nonstop fish tacos, and constant sunshine.. I was the happiest girl in the world. Why do vacations have to end?

Thankfully I had a week of fun waiting for me back home. I had some pre op appointments and got everything I needed for surgery all together. On Wednesday night I went to a Hawks game with Paul, thanks to a Baker family, and we had excellent seats that sat me also close to Patrick Sharp as I'm allowed. My buddy Tommy Hawk came by and sat with us for a little which made for a great picture to send to my students who love him. 5B adores Tommy Hawks because he makes big messes, gave out tons of goodies, and got them out of math. What more could a kid want? I ran into some friends I haven't seen in a long time at the game along with my favorite Conklin kids. I love Brittney and Scott. They are the ultimate sibling duo and two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. It was awesome to see a Jet get slammed through the glass but it was even cooler seeing Brit waving away behind Sharpie on a jumbotron interview! That basically means they're in love, right?

After the game we went to the Fratelli's concert at the Metro. Conklins spoil me. It was the perfect way to wrap up a Hawks victory, seeing the band that sings "Chelsea Dagger" play it live. We were the happiest kids in the world. Another plus was running into Andy at the concert- great to see you again!! Thanks for the song shout out too!

My good friend Tim came into town on Thursday from California and has been here since. It means a lot to have him around, he's one of those fools that keeps me laughing and forgetting anything else but what's going on right then. Laughing is everything now. Plus he's just a really great dude. I'm lucky to have him here. 

On Friday I had a going away party for my boobs downtown. Around fifty of my friends came to send them off. I was totally blown away by the turn out. Thank you all for coming, I had such a blast and I hope you all did too. We started out on a sun deck near the Hancock and then moved on to Barn and Company (thanks for the party Barn and Co!!) Both were awesome. Lots of dancing and fun. And pizza. I think I ate a whole pizza that night… oops?? (maybe that's why my tummy is all jacked up still) My cousin Cobi came and it was so fun to hang out with him. My sister and brother-n-law were there also, just always great to have family around. The best part of it all was how the most people anyone knew when they walked in the door was maybe 4 people but after no time at all you would have thought they were all long time friends. I had a perfect night and was blessed with the best company. Everyone that came means the world to me for all kinds of reasons. So thanks again guys, I was so touched to see that turnout. 

Saturday we went to brunch on the river and then were lazy turds on the couch. That night we went to Pretty Lights. It was my first electronic concert and probably my last. All of my friends love that stuff so I'm happy I finally went but it was totally not my thing. Too loud, too high pitched, and too visual. So I sat in the hallway of the venue, made a new friend, and spent some time with Dan for the first time in awhile. It was great catching up with him and really decent of him to skip the show so I had company. Thanks dude!

On Sunday my school had a zumba party for me and to raise money for our hospital. Zumba is not exactly my specialty but it was great to see all the teachers working out together and having fun doing it. Stacy killed it up there teaching routines and my roommate Allie was awesome to watch teach too. I have no idea how those ladies move the way they do. Thanks for zero rhythm, Dad…

Since the zumba party I have just been up in Racine being spoiled by the O'neils. Tim and I have been fed to filling point meal after meal and have lounged it off. Nothing better than sitting in the hot tub with the lake crashing behind you. Wisconsin is so soothing. What a great state. And family. The O'neils have a way of making you feel so loved and special. There aren't many families as lovely as they are. I haven't even minded the awful snow coming down outside because I have been watching it through a window while I sit next to a fire. Happy, happy Kayla.

Lazy is a great way to describe the next few days. I plan on resting, seeing friends, and just getting my head ready for surgery. Phase two of treatment is finally here and I'm looking forward to getting through the next step. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for good spirits and healing.

Hope you all are enjoying yourself, expect to hear from me one more time before I'm cut up.

Love you all!

What the hey have I been doing

Hello everyone! Oops on the updating again. So here comes the past month in one entry..

So we wrapped up themo! We had an 80s themo that my dad nailed. It was fun to have hair again and it was great to see the receptionists at the hospital with teased hair and tons of eyeshadow. I loved seeing hospital staff decked out in themo wear every Thursday. Evanston hospital is as supportive and loving as it gets!

The next theme was Prom Night. All of my fellow teachers were dressed to impress and my dad went all out to get us a stretch limo so we could arrive in style. I had planned on one of my friends being my prom date but once again Evanston Hospital and the hockey gods had bigger plans for me. For the second time this year, I ran into Lord Stanley!! So for prom night I got Lord Stanley in bed with me. And you know what.. my dad was totally fine with it!! The whole day felt like a dream.. from my incredible dress to my date. Themo started out as a little idea  so I wouldn't hate treatment and has expanded beyond anything I could ever imagine.

For my very last treatment we had to go all out. How could I possibly do that after Prom? I couldn't.. But my friends could!! I had my Anna fly in from Conneticut, my sister and brother-in-law come, BOTH parents, Aunt Jeanie, Sam, Sam, Christina, Suzanna, Joe, Honey, Patrick, Aunt Jen.... I could go on and on but you get it. Everyone who has been smothering me with love for the past few months was by my side for my final treatment. We sort of went over the 4 people in a room at a time rule.

My final theme was "My favorite things" so everyone was decked out in Hawks apparel. When I say everyone I mean EVERYONE. My entire school was head to toe(ws) in red. During a math lesson TommyHawk busted into my classroom and it was a party from then on!! Reporters came to capture the event, WGN filmed it, and the Blackhawks showed their love again! I was paraded out and escorted to the hospital by the entire school. Upon arriving we had the pleasure of passing out thank you presents to all the wonderful staff at EH and goodie bags to patients having treatment at the same time as me. It was really important to me to make sure I said thank you to everyone and also encouraged those around me. I truly could not have gone through this experience without the Evanston Hospital community and all my friends and family. Not only did I get through chemo but I did it with a smile on my face and I have all of you to thank for that. It wasn't just a struggle, it was a fight for my life!! Getting my through this means more than you will ever know!! A "thank you" cannot begin to cover how I feel towards all of you.

You can see the joy I felt in these pictures. I have never been one to hide my emotions, my face shows it all. I have been the happiest, luckiest girl through these experiences. It's been hard but it's been fun! And days like these have made it all worth it. It's a special experience getting to see how much people love you. Most never know that till they're gone. But I haven't had a single day go by without at least one person letting me know how much I love them. I wouldn't trade  every awful, sick day, every mental breakdown day, every "how the heck am I going to do this?" moment for anything in the world because of the love I have received. The farther down I fell, the higher I was lifted up. It's a powerful thing knowing you're never alone.

After chemo finished I made my way out to California for some much needed sunshine and ocean air. Newport Beach will always be the place where my heart finds great happiness. It was so nice to feel like Kayla again. I thought everything would be smooth sailing once chemo was over and it has sort of been the opposite. My body aches in ways that it never did during my worst 200m fly even. I have gone to such dark places in my head, something I never thought I was capable of. California helped me crawl out of the storm. Making rest a priority too has been huge. I have finally given up teaching every day, something that was hard to do but much needed. I can't keep rolling along like I was before. It really caught up to me and it's time that I gave into the tired so I can come out of it. I've had some pretty lazy days recently. Lots of prison shows and 90s movies. One day I only got out of bed to use the bathroom. This routine is one that I'm usually not ok with but I'm learning to be. Mostly because of how much better I feel doing it. My body needs time to recover and so does my mind. My head is very, very tired. So that's my main agenda now. Resting up and getting strong for surgery.

Among the rest I have been trying to spoil myself with relaxing activities along with fun ones! Over the weekend of the best friends anyone could ever wish for got married. Andrea and Wyatt tied the knot on Saturday. You would have though she had been married a hundred times before when you consider how perfect the wedding was. The DJ played great music, the ceremony was one I keep replaying in my head-perfect, and the bride was stunning. I have literally never laid eyes on anything so beautiful. The dress.. the hair... the lady.. wow. That will be a hard one to top. It was great to see old friends and teammates and to feel like a normal 25 year old for the night. Big shout out to the best date ever too(sorry Sam)!! I would wish that I could replay last weekend again and again but I definitely don't have the energy for it haha. I have had a few days in bed to follow that fun to recover. The only negative from it was my neuropathy paired with wearing heels for hours have sort of destroyed my feet. I am without much feeling in the fronts of them and I have a couple toes with nothing happening. Walking has become very... interesting. But even this has a positive.. prescribed foot massages :) Things are never all bad!

So what now.. My surgery is at 7:30 on the morning of November 15th. I'll be in the hospital till the following Monday probably and then to my parents house to recover for at least 4 weeks. If you're interested in stopping by the hospital or their house, let me know! I would really appreciate visitors to both, sitting around for a month sounds boring! Please feel free to suggest books/movies/tv shows.. anything to pass the time. I sucked netflix dry of all things related to prison so I need entertainment. Breaking Bad is definitely already on this list. Until then I plan on squeaking in another trip to see the ocean, catch a concert or two, have a farewell party for my girls, and just enjoy being active while I still can. Lots of snoozing between all of this fun of course!!

Expect another update soon! Hope you all are doing well and staying warm!!

ps. I can now apply fake eyelashes to myself!! WOO! This is a huge accomplishment when you consider I just learned about eyeliner a couple  months ago :)