It's official. I am finally on the upswing. Day 7 (Wednesday) was the first day I started feeling like myself again and it has lasted all day today too. I cannot even begin to explain how even just a little better feels A LOT better. I have never been so appreciative of feeling good before. Hoping to even stay awake for more than a period of the Hawks game tonight!
I had my one week check up today and blood test. My white count and whatever cell it is that fights infection both had low counts and my doctor said to give it another 48 hours before fully diving into public gatherings. You know you love your job when your doctor recommends staying home tomorrow and you say no way lady! Otherwise all was normal with the check up, nothing unexpected, no changes in tumor feel, no surprises. Just how a week one check up should be!
Cycle one of chemo was pretty rough on days 1-6. Like I said before it's a tired I've never experienced and it's totally consuming. And after a few days of it I started having "I guess this is how I'm going to feel from now on" run through my head. That puts you in a tough place. I usually have no problem staying upbeat but to be honest I got a peek of "the dark side". I wondered how I was going to manage this new way of feeling with working and life in general. But as quickly as these feelings came, they left. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like Kayla. I was smiling inside and out, felt like being goofy, and just genuinely enjoyed everything I did. Teaching on Monday and Tuesday got a little rough and I had many "fake it till ya make it" moments during those days. I actually had to duck out ten minutes early on Tuesday to go straight to my parents' to curl up in my dad's lap and sleep. By Wednesday night I was back to cracking jokes with Sam. The difference a day can make.
My parents and others who know me well have noticed the difference in me and see my normal self shining through again. I hope I was able to trick some of you during the low time though. If I'm not choosing to feel sorry or bad for myself then no one else should have to. We all have to remember that when I feel like garbage it means the chemo is working. I have to hang on to the good advice of my dear friend Wendy and embrace the tired, embrace the hair loss, embrace feeling sick. It just means my body is responding. Thank God I have the gift of snoozing that I do, plenty of time for my body to fight!
Overall the first cycle of treatment wasn't terrible. It's also going by quickly and I'm sure 20 weeks will be done before we know it. I've said it every post and I'll continue to say it, this would be so much harder without all of the love and support. No matter how awful I felt, I always enjoyed a text from a caring friend or not having to worry about cooking dinner because of my wonderful work friends and the food guru Lisa. Everyone has a part in making me a survivor. If I have any requests so far it would be that people keep me in mind and in their prayers during those first 6ish days after chemo. That's when I need your help the most. I know I'm known for having plenty of confidence and enjoying myself maybe even too much at times, but I might need some help in keeping me that way then. I never want this to become too much, it shouldn't, and I know it won't with your help. But feel free to remind me of how awesome I am anytime :)
Acupuncture has started which should help with chemo side effects and reducing any long term damage from it. I also had my first massage today (heavenly as always). It made me miss Linda a little though (Minnesota swimming what's up!).. My army of helpers is constantly growing and I love it. Y'all are amazing.
Thanks again for getting me through this first cycle. I am ready for the next one but am quite pleased that I have a whole week until I go in again! Also, Tuesday is going to be "Treat Yourself Day" and I plan on having something salty, something greasy, and something CHEESY. I miss cheese. Feel free to post recommendations on what my first "fun" treat will be. I CANNOT WAIT!!
Love you guys! Hope you have a great weekend and get some sunshine.