A soulmate's confession

I am not going to lie, I almost couldn’t write this post. It’s not that I didn’t want to, because lord knows I did…it’s just that I felt a little ashamed throughout this whole process. I was not the friend Kayla needed & of course Kayla, being the saint she is, every time I told her I was sorry for not texting/calling more often she always made me feel like it was totally fine & that I was helping her. Kayla has never & will never make anyone feel guilty for anything.

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I remember the first time we met, I was living at my aunt & uncle’s house in California {The Gladychs} & she was going to be doing the same thing! Kenzie & Rylee were telling me how much I was going to like her because “she’s just soooo awesome” {In Rylee’s tone} I was getting excited to meet a new friend, especially since I didn’t know that many people yet. That first day when I entered the house she came running up & greeted herself, what a great way to say hi! After getting more acquainted at dinner, I invited her to come with me to a labor day weekend with some new friends near Lake Havasu. Two looooong car rides, jumping off cliffs, learning about natty ice, sea cowing off her back {I can’t swim fast :( }, “Thanksgiving” & “Extreme”…yea we became instant best friends! I learned how to love cooking and baking {& now have my own food blog because of that love} I learned that you’re not suppose to call it a “spiny turny thing” in swimming, & I learned how to be a better person. Kayla not only gives hot meals to homeless people, but she will sit down & have a conversation with them {which most people would never do}….& if you’re really lucky she will give you her shoes, purse & more!

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Fast forward through life & I ended up moving back to Texas, and soon after got pregnant with the love of my life. Kayla was the first person I told. I was scared yet excited at the same time, she was really excited for me. Later on she told me that she found a lump & was going to get the test results soon. WHAT?? But she was only 24 how could that be?? Kayla, out of all people on this planet, Kayla was diagnosed with breast cancer. What a blow to the mind, how could someone so angelic get something so evil? Having Ava made it hard to keep up daily with her, which is where my guilt comes from. What I’ve learned from this whole process is a.) how hard cancer really is. movies don’t cut it like real life does. I knew my grandma had breast cancer twice & saw the scars it left on her fragile body, but seeing the process of it happening… wow. In the earlier stages, anytime I checked up on her she was either sick or sleeping. I never knew that the thing keeping her alive was her poison as well. Losing parts of her body and possibly stealing a bit of her soul as well. b.) How to have a positive outlook on life always. Kayla writes 100 reasons why she loves cancer. Again, only Kayla can find positivity in all things. But that’s what makes her such a strong woman. She can make her own light in the darkest of times, she can see that there is an end to it, which in turn will give her something great {It just has too!}. She will be able to help others in ways that most can’t through a job offer!  c.) Always be a forgiving & understanding person. Throughout this whole process kayla has been so understanding when I couldn’t catch up with her. 

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I am so happy to have Kayla in my life & know that she was put here for a reason! Thank you Kayla for all the love & strength you give! You are loved a million times more for it & always will be! I love you soulmate!