Part 2

I went to dinner last night (at trifecta, obviously) with a man I met on an airplane almost 3 years ago. Despite being a fan of a certain Detroit hockey team, he is a beautiful example of just how lovely people really are. The first time I met him we talked with such ease for hours like we were old friends and last night was no different. His fun sense of humor and the spark in his eyes made me forget about everything for awhile and just enjoy good company. Someone who has no reason to be a part of my life but has a kind heart and chooses to be.. It made me think about my ever growing list of people who have made this adventure manageable and even fun at times. I hope I let you all know just how thankful I am for what you're doing and have done for me and my family. For my next 25 reasons why I'm thankful cancer happened I want to focus on people. 25 slots isn't enough to thank everyone but it's a start!

26. Sarah: You have been such a solid support for me from the moment I got the phone call to needing naps at recess. I am so thankful every day that I learn from you. It's quite obvious how you change the lives of so many children every year but it's just as neat to see your impact on your peers and friends. I'm sorry you have to experience the chaos of the appointment schedules and everything else, but your patience and understanding means the world to me. I am so, so lucky to call you a friend. There is not enough chili in the world to repay you but that doesn't mean I can't try! 

27. Suzanna: Another gift that Baker has given me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have your classroom to walk over to anytime I needed anything. To whine, to laugh, to eat popcorn.. Anything. Knowing you're at work makes showing up on the days I don't want to get out of bed easier. I love that you constantly check in and get me out of the house. I love how involved you want to be in this fight. I love talking to you for hours and helping each other. I love having you as a friend. You have been such a key figure in my army and are a huge part of this upcoming victory!  Now please get me back in the pool ASAP.

28. Brittany: You baboon-faced slob. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I would fly across the country just to take a sweaty, urine soaked ride on a subway with you. How the heck would I do any of this without you? When you came to visit and I was feeling so darn awful it was great to be around someone who wanted to do a whole bunch of nothing with me. You would make such a good cancer patient, not everyone can take 5 hour naps after getting 12 hours of sleep ya know. I am also so thankful for the joy you bring to my parents, they need to laugh and feel loved through this too and that's exactly what you always give them. You're family. Regardless of how infrequently you shower, you're family and you're gonna be around forever. Thanks for the wigs and the dirty laundry and giving me a time out in the big apple. Thanks for being funny and constant and gross and just getting it.

 

29. Joe: Next to Bieber and my dad, I think you win the award for most appointments attended. I don't think you know how huge that is. There is something so special about the comfort I have knowing that you'll be in the lobby, every Thursday, ready for treatment. Seeing you there every secession is great but knowing you'll be there is even better. This stuff is scary and I don't want to go through any of it alone. Because of you, I know I'll never have to. Also the way you make me laugh and feel normal and aren't afraid to still call me a disgusting human being through this are all things I really appreciate because they keep me feeling Kayla through all of this. You are one of the best, Joe.

30. Kiah: My little cousin that I have always looked up to. Thank you so much for all you did this summer. You filled in for me every day, even when I was there, and just really ran the show whenever you were needed and you always did it with a smile on your face. I am always reminded of how special and rare our family is when I spend time with you. I'm sorry for any tiredness.. Or maybe just plain crabbiness :).. You had to endure. I'm sorry we didn't get to have fun adventures all summer and be attached at the hip. Next summer? I love you, Kiah. Cousins are such special gifts.

31. Nela: Dude. All it took was one night of not going to Bull and Bear and I knew I had to be best friends with you. What I didn't know then and I do now is what that means. Having you as a friend means never being alone no matter how crazy things get. You will only ever be a positive in my life. Thank you for letting me cry to you so many days and for introducing me to my new motto. You are a rare treat Nelagirl and you have made my every day better. Even my happily married father has a crush on you! I am so grateful for the support from your family too. I love having Serbia in my corner! I can't wait to tour Europe with my new boobies and you. Thank you for being there for me every minute of every day. And seriously, Dave sucks.

32. Owen: Getting 45 minutes with you 3 times a week got me to at the very least show up this summer. You can ask anyone in the pool, they all knew how much you coming would make my day.

I miss our recess time together but I'm thankful that it forces us to exist outside of work. I love having your coloring book to work through when I have to shut my brain off. Do you know what a treat it is to be able to turn my brain off until my hand hurts too much? And then continue that mental break with some good old fashioned zombie slaying? Laughing with you is great therapy and shooting stuff will be too. Spending time with you always makes me feel better about everything. Thank you, Owen.

33. Honey: Oh, Honey. I know your fam got a shout out in my last list but I had to give you one of your own. There is just something about being around you that makes everyone feel special. I remember one time you even said something as small as how I parked my car in the right spot and it made me feel really good about myself. Sounds goofy maybe but it's true! I have learned so much about how to live in the short time that I have known you and am excited to continue to learn from you. Honey, you will be an angel in my life forever and a friend for just as long too! You managed to change my life with one big hug and I will always try to impact others the way you have impacted me. You are one cool chick, Honey. Can't wait for Friday!

34. Karrie: Another Baker gift. I don't know what it is but there is something about the comfort and strength I feel from fellow cancer survivors so the fact that I have that a room over from me every day at work is HUGE! There have been so many times that something has been bothering me whether I have the tears to show it or not and walking over to you in the library makes me feel so much better. Sorry for always cutting through the library  :) but I always feel at peace when I leave you. Even if it's just for a quick hello, knowing I have you at school makes me feel "safe". Thank you for all the gifts and support through this, Karrie. You are one of my heroes, I can't wait to survive this and be able to help others just like you have helped me. 

35. Amber: Another strong lady cancer survivor! My very first leader at how the heck to navigate this journey. I was SO blessed to have you to explain everything to me and tell me firsthand what it was going to be like. I really appreciated you coming to my first treatment and always being there for me since. Thank God my dad knew you because so much of that initial fear or freak out never came because of how you prepared me. One day this is all going to be over and I will be a part of the unbelievable survivor club just like you! Thanks for getting me this far already and filling me with confidence to finish it out. I thank God all the time for you and the many blessings you give.

36. Robin: I showed up at your class expecting to get some free makeup and I walked out with so much more! I wasn't expecting to make a friend but I got lucky and found you. Thank you for introducing me to the world of eyeliner and bronzer. Thank you for the gift of eyebrow powder so I don't have to look sicker than I feel. Thanks for making me feel feminine and beautiful even with no hair and about 6 eyelashes left. I'm actually going to need a lesson in how to wear fake eyelashes because I have no clue how to do that. One of my favorite parts to my day is sitting in front of my mirror and adding color and eyebrows to my face. I don't take a lot of time for myself but this one chunk I always set aside to pamper myself. Feeling pretty makes me feel confident and feeling confident keeps me living my life. Robin, you are a fabulous artist and a beautiful lady. Thank you for being a part of my fight and my life.

37. Ry: The only person as sad as me about my boobs going considering they were your favorite thing to nap on. I hope my new ones are comfy enough for you. Thank you for coming out this summer and then letting me invade California. I have never been loved by anyone the way that you love me. It's a kind of love that makes me never feel alone. You are my best friend and there for me every second like no one else is. I miss you being a part of my everyday but it's so precious knowing that no matter the distance, nothing will ever change us. Love you forever.

38. Tim: The people who make me feel completely normal make a world of a difference. I am so thankful to have you around again. You make me laugh. You

make me remember what's important. You make me do dumb things. You make me harass aquatic animals. You have an ability to make me focus 100% on whatever stupid thing we're doing or talking about. Things can get so crazy in my head so the moments I am fully present are big. You've always been a great friend and someone who gets it. I need that. I'm thankful for that. Plus it's nice to know that if I ever wanted to runaway from all of this there's someone who would go with me. To club nowhere. Thanks for being there for me, Tim.

39. Sally: You know what I love about you? Sick or not, you never let me feel like anything short of a million bucks. You never let me think for one second that I deserve anything less than the best. Maybe you're only supposed to be friends with my aunt but Sally you will forever and always be a best friend of mine and a woman to look up to and try to grow up to be like. You are so darn cool and smart and everyone always has fun when they're around you. You're small but have a big presence and I have loved getting to know you over the years. Thank you for always pounding confidence and strength into my head. I always feel fierce after spending time with you! I just wish I lived closer so I always felt like that. I cannot wait to see you next time I'm out west AND at my party when all of this is over! Love you!

40. Christina: A blog shout out doesn't begin to cover the number of thank yous I owe you but you deserve to hear it in every form possible. Thank god we blacked out in a BART station or I would have never had my other half. I know we only yell-talk to each other and are constantly bringing the other up to any poor sucker who will listen, but hey everyone has been obsessed with something before and we just happen to be obsessed with each other. No shame in that. Your unemployment is a gift, without it I wouldn't have had so much fun at my first surgery or had someone to cry my face off with. I even let you hug me. Do you know how big that is? Seriously though, I know we're not in Cali anymore and you're wondering what to do with life but just trust 100% that you are exactly where you're meant to be. Here. With me. None of this could happen without you.

41. Dave: You swam across Lake Michigan to raise money and awareness for cancer. You're either insane or a total badass but regardless I am inspired and touched. Your family has been a large part of my life for so long so I shouldn't even be surprised by all the support you have shown us but I am still blown away by all the love and kindness from you, your beautiful wife, and your 4 outstanding kids. Thank you for making me feel like I can still call Downers Grove home. Thank you for all the hours of training and funding you put in this summer. Thank you for inspiring me to dust off my googles and get back to the one place that takes it all away. My fight is for you too!

 

42. Leigh Ann: Thank you Kyle for finally having an awesome girlfriend for me to be buddies with! Your little packages and CDs always make me smile. You are one of those lovely people that have no reason to go out of their way for me but you do and I am touched. Our snaps and texts always make my day. You are a perfect example of why I am thankful cancer happened. Because now I know you! Thank you for all of the love and gabbing and alway checking in. Kyle is a lucky dude :) Please come to Chicago soon.

43. Jojo: Even though we are far apart you still make me happy. I love seeing your cards and letters and pictures on my wall. I smile everytime I see them. It was great to see you a couple weeks ago and have sometime to play together! I miss seeing you every day and swimming together. When I think of you I remember reasons to be strong. You have an old soul and a loving heart that has always been able to change my bad days to good ones. Thanks for being my friend, Jojo.

44. Sam: Well thank god for you. How did we navigate life before each other? Honestly. At least we didn't waste anytime getting to be best friends once we finally met. You have been there for so many appointments, so many tears, so many smiles, and (hopefully) so many cinnabons. You never make me feel like I'm crazy when I probably am acting like it. You always listen and support. You know when to give advice and when to just let me vent. You let me be a friend to you still, you'd be surprised at how few let me do that! Thank you! It's actually terrifying to imagine this journey without you. I am fighting with you and for ya girl. Love you toooooo much! Can't wait to see you as catwoman on Thursday (don't act like you weren't going to be her).

45. Brooks: Your whole family deserves their own slots so if any of you guys are reading this too know that I love you all and couldn't fight without you! But Brooks.. You have always been someone who I have so much fun with and I'm happy that never changed with this. The best thing for me is all the people who has remained constant and didn't change how they acted with me and you never did. I love spending time with you and your brothers and I love the family I have gained through you guys. When you reached out the other day about bringing themeo to Ohio my heart got all warm and fuzzy. Sometimes I wonder it I'm the only person who is affected by the cancer and I feel like I'm the only person who deals with this every day. You reminded me that that is so far from the truth. It means the world to me that you're still apart of the fight even while you're away and that I'm not forgotten. Get your tights ready because theme one is superheroes! I love ya, Brooks!

46. Aunt Penny: Thank you for all of the daily quotes! I keep them all saved and post my favorites up on my wall. So far my favorite has been "sleep is the body's way of telling everyone to leave you alone." I really appreciate that you take time to send one every day. They're fun to have and it's nice to know I'm being thought of. Love you, hope to see you and Uncle Doug soon!

47. Andrea: Leading my 630 unit! It's funny how my life has lead me to all the activities we used to do in college instead of going out, like watching season after season of the oc and baking. I just wish we still lived together to do it all again with you! Thanks for always checking in and not hesitating to pick up all my slack in our friendship. I promise this is all temporary and I will be back to basement fashion shoots and lzr parties in no time! I love you so much and I am so thankful for all the times you've driven all the way up north for an appointment or met me for nachos. I am so happy the wedding of my life is going to be during my treatment break. Watching you walk down the aisle, wrapped up in beautiful ivory fabrics is going to be one of those mental snapshots I'll keep forever. I'm so honored to be a part of it. Thank you for constantly being one of the best friends I have ever had and will have for many years to come. I'm lucky to have you on my team!

48. Stacy: A badass cancer survivor I am lucky enough to become friends with. Your diagnosis was a huge bummer but I think you have seen some beauty in it and have reminded me to also. I wish we had had joined forces over something else but I'm so thankful we did. I keep your cancer free announcement in my room as inspiration for my own. You have been a rockstar through all of this and are handling your journey with such grace. Thanks for never letting me forget that surviving is the only option!

49.  Patti P: I cannot keep up my thank yous with your constant flow of surprises in the mail but I hope you know how much I appreciate them. Nothing beats knowing that someone is thinking of you.  I have missed your family and I love how often I have seen you guys recently. That makes me thankful all of this happened!

50. Mr. Taco: Anyone who makes tacos for a living automatically has a place in my heart. And when you start giving them to me for free you will stay there forever. Thank you for all of the post treatment tacos, saving my stool, and always giving me something to look forward to on days that I don't look forward to. Your chorizo heals.

Part 1

Cancer kinda sucks. Everything is harder than it was in the beginning and some of it has to do with external stuff but what’s going on inside of me isn’t helping at all. I’ve been caught in this pity party for a few days now and I figured the best way to get out of it was to stop being sad and to start being thankful. Which is harder than you’d think sometimes when your head is all over the place. You know what people with cancer think about all of the time? Cancer. There’s so much more to it than you could ever imagine. So far the only thing curing my body is also destroying it. That takes a toll on the old emotions. But I don’t want to just sit around watching life happening during this chapter of my life and I have to continue to take part in it all. When you’re told you’re suffering from a disease that can kill you and will impact the rest of your life, you sorta realize how short and unpredictable life really is. I’m trying to take in all the lessons that cancer has to offer me. Lessons in growing up, taking care of myself, letting go of the things that hurt me.. One of the big lessons is constantly finding the good in the bad, no matter how much you don’t want to. To be perfectly honest I have no interest in this blog right now, it seems too hard of a task to tackle. But I know it’s going to be good for me. So I’m going to do it in chunks. Consider this part one of four of the top 100 list I never thought I’d make you and you probably never thought you’d read. No matter how small or silly some might seem, I'm thankful for them all.

100 reasons why I’m thankful I was diagnosed with cancer:

1. My already close family became even closer. My parents moved back from Arizona and my sister and brother-in law have been ready with whatever they can to help. I cannot tell you how much it means to have my parents back here. When I think of all of the times I’ve cried in their arms or had someone to sleep next to, I feel so blessed. Feeling cared for is a big source of strength.

2. Meeting and developing a relationship with the Skinner family. They have opened their house and hearts to us and have showered my family with a love that will never be forgotten. Honey is someone who will change your life for the better whether you want her to or not. I have found forever friends at house #11.

3. The new friends I’ve made that are associated with all things Wirtz. I don’t know what it is but there’s something about working there that means you’re also going to be a special person. Such generous and accepting people that I’m just happy to be around whenever I am. Especially those Conklin kids!

4. Seeing the strength and love of so many of my friends and family. The outpour of support has been amazing and it’s really neat to see how good most people truly are. So many have been able to drop anything without hesistation to be there for me and I swear you guys when I am able to again I will do the same for you. You think you know people really well and then something you both counted on changes and you find out who they really are. For the most part, I am blown away by what I’m finding out.

5. Exposure to alternative treatments. I’ve burned special plants in different corners of my house, I’ve been poked with needles that aren’t attached to medicine, I’ve learned about the energy everything on Earth has and how to keep it flowing, I’ve had healing hands on me.. I’ll try anything to beat this. Learning about the different beliefs and cultures associate with all kinds of healing has been really enjoyable. The most important lesson they have taught me though is the art of slowing down. Being slow and present is something I am learning to be comfortable with.

6. Connecting with the Blackhawks. This has been one of the coolest opportunities that having cancer has brought me. I always thought they boys in red were so far out of reach but I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with them enough now for Mr. Patrick Sharp to pick me out of a sea of fans. Patrick Sharp knows I exist now. That made me remember what it was like to be 14 again and have your hunky crush say hi to you in the hallway. My face went bright red I giggled like an idiot. He probably didn't notice though... My mom thinks it’s only because he hasn’t met many bald girls but hey who cares. Even if that is it, it’s a perfectly good example of why I’m thankful cancer happened. I’m memorable!

7. Learning to speak up for myself. No more letter everyone else run the Kayla show. Being able to vocalize what’s important for me is a huge growth on my part. I have realized I have to make myself a priority as well as what is good for  me. “Growing a pair” is a process but it’s happening.

8. Having Trifecta Grill (the number one restaurant up north) throw me a birthday party.  And as if that wasn’t good enough I saw my mom put away 6 gourmet tots that night. The O’Neil family has been such a wonderful addition to my life and still would be even if their perfect restaurants didn’t exist.

9. Appreciating things I took for granted. I never knew how much I loved French fries until I couldn’t have them whenever I wanted. I didn’t think about how much I loved open water until I was told I had to stay out of it. Even my health and feeling good every day, I appreciate the good days so much more than I ever did. I pray that this lesson is one that stays with me and that I always appreciate the things and the people that I love. Being happy is a choice but it is also a gift and it starts with being thankful.

10. Lazy days. I have had the pleasure of finding out why America loves the Kardashian family, the importance of naps, and being ok with a walking as my only productive move of the day. I’ve gotten to color more than I have since grade school and read a variety of books. This goes with learning to slow down, lazy days are something I usually feel pretty guilty about but when they’re forced on you, you have to learn to be ok with them. I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing the “lazy days of summer” before now.

11. Healthier habits. They also have been forced on me but definitely for the better. I don’t need to have dessert every day, I don’t need to stay up late and fall behind on sleep, and I don’t need to drink every drop of Jager in sight. This has been the kick in the butt I need to grow up and really take care of myself. But don’t think for one minute when all of this is over there won’t be a killer party to celebrate. Because with Christina Klinge in charge of it you know there will be.

12. Walks around Indian Hill’s golf course. With limited energy comes limited exercise. I miss moving at a million miles per hour however I please but there has been something lovely about taking walks. I still get to see and explore, probably more than before actually when you consider the speed I'm moving. Living here with my parents has been huge in so many ways but one of my favorite is the beautiful neighborhood we have to walk around. It’s so peaceful and pretty and since it’s a set path there are plenty of little goal marks to reach on the days when I don’t wanna get out of bed so I can still feel accomplished. My favorite memories this summer have been the walks I’ve taken with friends here, talking about everything and nothing and just being happy to be outside moving in good company. The conversations and time spent walking have been quite special to me.

13. My car. It’s no secret how much I love my car so it might be hard to believe that I am more thankful than ever for it but it’s true. After a week of getting carted around and having everything done for me, it feels SO GOOD the first time I get to drive myself somewhere. The freedom and independence you get from having a vehicle is great. A drive in the mouse is something I always find myself looking forward to being up for.

14. Learning how to wear make up. I went to a “look good, feel better” class because I heard you get a couple hundred dollars worth of free make up while learning how to put it on. I never thought that I would become someone that others ask make up tips from or to do their make up for them but here we are. I am not only a mascara only girl and that’s kind of a fun thing! I was introduced to make up by Robin Robeson, a local make up artist and now a friend for life. She has given me the gift of eyeliner and confidence to feel pretty even when I don’t.

15. Growing closer with my cousin Mandy. Mandy is a few years old than me and we grew up on opposite sides of the country, so growing up I didn’t spend much time with her. Mandy was published in her first medical journal as a senior in high school and is one of those brilliant should be freaks but is actually 100% normal. From early on Mandy said she was going to cure cancer and everyone knows she will. Having her on my team along with her staff at Dana Farber and University of Chicago has given my family full confidence in my doctor’s plans. Knowing I’m getting the best possible care and treatment is something my family and I have found enormous peace in.

16. Impulse control. Through this I have had to learn to plan more and act impulsively less. I have to think through my actions and choices before I make them and consider whether or not they are actually good for me. I miss being careless and making bad decisions but it's been a good lesson in growing up and making better choices/being more responsible. Also to say I don't make bad decisions still would be a lie, they are hopefully just less frequent now. Thinking before acting.

17. Experiencing old favorites like it was the first time all over again. For example, kayaking. No one loves kayaking more than I do so to be told no oceans or lakes was a huge letdown. But with a little rule breaking I kayaked in the pacific a week ago and in Lake Michigan a couple days ago. Water is magic. It seduces you, a "quick kayak" so easily turns into however far I can go before my arms fall off every time. The only things that hurt more than my arms were my cheeks :) I appreciate things I don't get to do often so much more now.

18. Strangers reaching out. I've been able to see how neat people truly are. The encouragement I've received from people I pass on the street about how I'm rocking the bald to friends of friends pulling more than their weight in this fight has kept my head up. I got a picture today from a friend who has a friend leaving for college for the first time. Clipped to her backpack was a little flag with my name on it and the caption was "college bound and fearless". I got out of bed after seeing that and decided today was another day that we win.

19. The Walking Dead. With all this lounge time on my hands I got hooked on a tv show for the first time in a long time. I forgot how fun that is! My dad and I have been watching it together and we are HOOKED. He’s even been slowly walking and moaning around the house trying to bite us. I’m happy I’ve had the time to enjoy something like this.

20. Meeting Ellen. My chemo nurse is an angel. She is funny and kind and I know she really cares about me and my family. I look forward to seeing her on Thursdays and I'm always excited to introduce her to my visitors. Can you stay friends with your nurses? I hope that's allowed, she's had such a big hand in this.

21. Naturespace. Naturespace is an app that was created by the father of one of my students. He recommended it to me to try as a therapy of some kind. It contains tracks of different sounds found in nature and is a great way to escape for awhile. Pretty much any setting you can imagine is on it so wherever you want to disappear to you can. Check it out.

22. Being cared for. Letting others take care of me really puts me outside of my comfort zone but it’s necessary now. There’s been lots of growing happening this summer. I’m learning to ask for help and being able to accept it.

23. Relationships circling back around. Friends I have been out of contact with for whatever reason have had no problem reaching out during this and        are ready to help. I’m so thankful for the boost this has given old or distanced relationships. It’s nice to know how easily people can put things behind them or get past the time since we last saw each other to help out. If you’re reading this and it applies to you THANK YOU! I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE ACTIVE IN MY LIFE AGAIN.

24. Justin Bieber. He might be a little pipsqueak with a big attitude, but his face is on a blanket that has kept me warm and snuggly every hospital visit. He’s the only face other than mine that has attended every chemo sesh. It’s a conversation piece and usually gets a good laugh out of people who come in my room and I’d rather have laughing than crying there.

25. My shiny head. After years of saying I’ll shave my head if I make the Olympics or hearing from my grandfather as a kid what a good shaped skull I had, I finally got to do it and see for myself. I was warned it would be terrible but it wasn’t too bad actually and now I don’t even notice it or remember I’m bald half the time. I’m thankful to all the people who made life without the fro an easy transition. Here’s to hoping the curls return…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Round 2, Cycle 1

 Hey friends! Hope you guys have been enjoying July, I cannot believe it’s almost over! I had a solid two weeks before  my new round of chemo started yesterday. Also, I have some stubble on my head, maybe the mane is growing back?? We shall see! So the new round of chemo went well. It’s a little shorter than the previous one since it’s one less drug to get. I still get a steroid as a premed but the new premed is Benadryl. I was knocked out in no time. So really I guess when I was getting my new chemo drug, Taxol, it went by pretty quickly because I was knocked out for half of it. They give Benadryl because it’s a plant based drug and they don’t want any allergic reactions. The only thing I got from it was a 5 hour nap once I got home followed by a 7 hour night sleep. Not bad. I had a great crew at the hospital with me yesterday and it was nice having big support to kick off the new cycle. So far the side effects I feel are fatigue (could be the Benadryl still?) and nausea, which I was told wouldn’t be a problem this round. Hoping that subsides sooner than it did with the last drug at least.

So how about the fun stuff.. During that little break I got have some good times with friends. I went to the “Under the Sun” fest at Ravinia and saw Vertical Horizon, Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, Fastball, and Gin Blossoms play. It was AWESOME. Most of y’all know what a 90s music fan I am so this was like heaven. Sugar Ray was so entertaining and my Mark McGrath still has it. I wish you all could have seen me screaming my face off during Smash Mouth’s “Allstar”. One of the highlights was meeting Vertical Horizon at the end of the night, the lead singer Matt was so great to me and loved rubbing our bald heads together. People are fun!

There was the Swim Across America at Navy Pier to raise money for cancer research. My mom and sister swam the 5k and were the only two to did it in a bikini! I also had a lot of friends do the swim, Dave Sims, Christina Klinge, Elaine Wilkinson, Adrienne Bicek, Morgan Piasecki, Patti Piasecki, Christine Kuczek, Katie Braun, Charlie Cunnick (who put the whole deal on), and a new friend Chris Thompson. I’m probably forgetting someone else.. sorry if so! It was a perfect day for a lake swim. Lake Michigan was warm, it wasn’t too hot on the beach, and the Chicago skyline always makes for a nice backdrop. The event raised a ton of money for research at Rush and was a fun and successful gathering. Congrats and thank you to everyone who participated and donated! Special thanks to Sarki's Cafe for feeding the fam with Lorettas post swim!

 Another cool thing I got to do was cook an authentic Italian feast for friends! The menu included: meatloaf, sautéed spinach, a light, fresh pasta, bruschetta, and rice pudding in a cake-like form for dessert. The meatloaf was out-friggin-standing. Unreal. Not surprising when 3 meats and 3 cheeses are involved though. I think another feast will be happening soon, I’m pushing for Mexican next time!

This weekend should be pretty relaxing. Hoping to stop by the Illinois state meet and the Hawks convention. Expect some good pictures coming soon!

Also, anyone want to claim the amazing pillowcase I was sent? With my face and Lord Stanley on it?? It is SO soft and just plain amazing! Talk about sweet dreams! Thank you!!

Where does the time go??

Somehow it is already July 13th and I am officially done with round one of chemo. I only have about 13 and a half weeks left with my fellow fighting friend chemo. I am thankful for our time together but I will be happy to never interact with him again. So my first round of chemo is over (A/C) and I move on to my Taxol round in about a week and a half and will receive 12 weekly treatments of that. The perks of this are Taxol is supposedly much better tolerated which is a lot to look forward to. The biggest negative from the sound of it is just the fact that I have to go in every week now. Luckily my chemo nurse is fabulous and receiving the treatments aren't too bad, although to be honest this last round was the least enjoyable of them all. I think they are starting to get more psychologically challenging. It all kind of is. The last round really took a toll on me and I only had hours as Kayla vs full days of feeling like myself. I'm hoping this round is more like the first or the second. Pray that I hang tough and have lots of reasons to smile through this. It's hard to remember sometimes that this is all temporary when you're caught in the storm of it all. Or when it's 2:30 and it's your second time being awake during the night... But this is all temporary. It'll be over soon, this too shall pass, and all those other nice things people put on bumper stickers to remind you to hang tough. The news I found to be good was that my counts had dropped pretty significantly from the prior round, which might sound like bad news, but it was nice to know there was a real, physical reason for everything that was going on. I was pretty scared that the struggle of the last round was all caused by psychological stuff or I was being dramatic or crazy. It's surprising how much comfort it is to know that what you're feeling can be justified or is legitimate. And if it ever isn't I hope to have someone come smack me with a reality stick to snap out of it!


I've been having a lot of visitors lately which is great for my spirit! My best friend Brittany came out from NY and brought me my first wigs. She was the perfect guest to have because all of her favorite activities are those of a cancer patient. It was a long weekend of multiple naps, some tv here and there, gourmet tots from Trifecta (go there people!), and watching her eat enough candy for the entire family. It was just really nice to be around one of my very best friends again, I've missed her. I actually slept in the bed she slept in while she was here two nights ago and it felt wrong. You hear that Zorots? Come back soon! Also my first best girlfriend ever came to visit  me too, Miss Ashley Cusack. She is always a good laugh a great person to be around so it was really nice to have her to take my mind off of how I was feeling. Hope to see all of the Cusack family soon!!

I also had some more friends from California come, the Tutton family! I haven’t seen them since January so that was a real treat. I miss my Maddie and her wonderful family. And Liz’s cooking, mmmmm! I cannot wait to get back out to Newport Beach as soon as I can and see everyone again and just enjoy that California sunshine.

Some of the alternative medical stuff I have been receiving, a lot of it thanks to you guys with bracelet sales and that fun stuff, has been acupuncture, reiki and massage. I’ve been really good about diet AND treat days J but this stuff is more exciting. The massages have been a really wonderful time to just rest and zone out. I usually get a short nap in during them, which is always needed, and the two masseuses I see are phenomenal. One is my acupuncturist and the other is from Bella’s Salon in Winnetka if you’re looking for some relief. Acupuncture is one of my favorite things of the whole process. It’s a time I usually share with my boyfriend and I really appreciate having him as a constant there and in so many other ways. It starts with a massage and then she uses various techniques from acupuncture to acupressure to cupping to burning stuff.. there’s a lot she can do and I don’t understand half of it but boy do I believe in it! The coolest part is the little semi-permenant needle she has left in my ear, it’s super tiny and set on a calming point. I press on it whenever I’m not feeling when and it gives me some relief. Oh the ways the body is all connected… Reiki has been a really special thing to learn because I got to do it with my parents. It’s all about helping energy flow through everything, my body, my meds, my parents, everything! It has been a great practice in staying present which is a big struggle of mine. Our instructor was actually a parent of a student of mine, another example of the amazing community I am so fortunate to be a part of!

Right now I have a REALLY special visitor in from Newport again, my little sister Rylee Gladych. It has been a great calming presence having her here and she is someone who just really makes me feel special and loved. Rylee is someone who I will  never have to question whether or  not she loves me because she shows me every day. That's a rare thing to have from someone, Rylee is a real gift. She also has amazing taste buds and has been enjoying her fill of great Chicago foods. I love people who are easy to please :) As you can see  from the pictures, we have all been really enjoying the wigs Brittany brought. One of my kids just got my a Katy Perry pink wig that will definitely be a part of a future blog. It is awesome, thanks Hannah!!

What else is new.. Work is going well. Staying connected with the Baker community through the summer has been really important to my general wellbeing. Seeing my kids has done a lot for me mentally and spending time with the whole school just really keeps my head and heart in a good place. I am so thankful for that place. I've been trying to get to the pool to see my GA friends at least once a week. I really miss you guys over there and can't wait to be more involved. The great friends you find in places you never knew you would.. Even though I don't see you guys a lot I feel your support daily. The GA family has been a HUGE rock for me and you all are making me stronger. Talk about a community who is definitely going to be a large part of my remission celebration. I couldn't do this without you.

Other good news.. the tumors  in my armpit can no longer be felt through physical examination!! That's great because those guys freaked me out a little! The lump in my breast is much softer and continues to be less noticeable with each check. Go chemo, go! So ya hear that team, we are beating cancer!! We definitely have the lead in this fight. Thanks for helping me to get here and thanks for helping me stay there!